For many families, the countdown to the first day of school is met with eager anticipation—and that’s not just from the parents!
Jokes aside, the start of a new school year can be thrilling for young people who genuinely love school. In some households, the daily question, “How many sleeps?” will soon become a familiar, if slightly exasperating, refrain.
Yet, for other children, the thought of returning to school is anything but exciting; it’s overwhelming. The shift from the carefree, lazy days of summer to the structured environment of school can trigger anxiety in various forms. Some children may worry about facing peers who bullied them last year, while others might fear they won’t measure up to the academic challenges ahead. Anxiety can arise from many different sources, and as a parent, you are uniquely positioned to understand your child’s specific concerns. Recognising that each child’s anxiety is different—and that it can manifest in various ways, from tummy aches and headaches to verbal expressions of fear—is the first step in offering the support they need.
One of the great privileges of parenthood is the chance to demonstrate God’s love, tenderness, and patience to our children, especially in moments of anxious anticipation. These are opportunities to seek God’s guidance for understanding and wisdom in how we respond. However, it’s important to acknowledge that back-to-school anxiety often coincides with what is often one of the busiest times of the year, when patience and time may be in short supply. That’s why it’s crucial to plan to create space for our children to talk and process their feelings. This could be during dinner, before bed, or during a walk. Create an environment where they feel safe to express their worries without fear of judgment.
It’s also essential to normalise anxiety for our children, regardless of their age. Help them understand that it’s natural to experience anxious thoughts, especially during significant life transitions like starting school for the first time or moving up to secondary school.
No Superficial Theological Fixes
We must be careful not to stick a trite theological plaster on their anxieties in the hope that they’ll simply go away. Throwing a Bible verse their way as we rush out the door is not going to have the same effect as a quick dose of Calpol for a restless baby. We all want to reassure our children quickly, but sometimes, the most loving thing we can do is to sit with them in their anxiety, showing them that we understand and care deeply about their fears. Anxieties are usually felt deeply, and therefore the remedy will require deep and thoughtful care.
Perhaps the best place to start is by sharing your own experiences of anxiety and how you’ve leaned on God during difficult times. This can begin to provide your child with a powerful model of what it means to trust God amidst fear. You can gently help your child develop a biblical understanding of how our triune God promises to care for us and teaches us to “cast all our anxiety on Him because He cares for us” (1 Peter 5:7). As they grow in this understanding, they can gain confidence in knowing that God is sovereign and faithful.
Through praying with your children, you can teach them in a tangible way what it means to cast their cares onto the God who even clothes the lilies of the field (Matthew 6:28-30). Help them find the words to express their feelings, perhaps even by writing them down. Pray with them for protection, wisdom, and their relationships at school. Be sure to help your children recognise and acknowledge when they see God answering their prayers. This could be through experiencing His peace, feeling protected during difficult moments, or simply sensing His presence throughout the day. This awareness builds their faith and reinforces the truth that God is with them, always working on their behalf.
Lean Into Church
The church family can be a tremendous blessing during these times, both by providing a community where your child can feel loved, welcomed, and secure and as a place where others can come alongside them to offer support. So even in the busyness of the start of the academic year, make a decision to show up, allowing your child to experience the comforting grace of the triune God through the gathered body of believers. Encourage your child to participate in church activities, where they can build friendships with other children who share their faith and values.
Church workers, Sunday School teachers, and youth leaders can play a pivotal role by sharing their own stories of overcoming anxiety and fear through faith. They can also commit to praying for and with the children, creating a supportive environment where the child knows they are not alone in their struggles.
Final Encouragement
Remember this will take time, as you walk with your child through these challenges, continue to lean on God for strength, wisdom, and peace. It’s important to finally note that some children may require professional medical support alongside the ongoing spiritual and emotional support of their family and church family. Seeking such help is a wise and caring step for parents who see their child struggling significantly.
In these moments of back-to-school anxiety, remember the promise of Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” As we guide our children through these challenges, we can trust that God is with us, shaping their faith and character for His glory.
