Comfort is one of the great gods of our age. In the Western world, we have curated lifestyles that avoid hardship, minimise inconvenience, and prize personal ease above almost everything else. And while comfort is not inherently wrong, its unchecked dominance is having devastating effects on our discipleship of children. The creeping idolatry of comfort is shaping how we raise the next generation, often in ways we fail to notice until the fruit becomes painfully evident.
The Slow Drift into Comfort-Driven Parenting
Christian parents instinctively want to protect their children. We don’t want them to experience unnecessary pain or struggle. But in our pursuit of their well-being, we are often lulled into making comfort the ultimate goal of our parenting. We carefully curate their lives to be as smooth as possible, unintentionally raising children who are unequipped for the discomfort that comes with following Jesus.
Consider how this plays out:
- We prioritise their happiness over their holiness.
- We hesitate to introduce them to hard biblical truths because we fear they may struggle with them.
- We shield them from situations that might require perseverance, sacrifice, or courage.
- We structure their lives around ease, choosing what is convenient for us rather than what will spiritually stretch them.
In doing so, we may be keeping them safe, but we are not necessarily making them strong.
The Biblical Pattern: A Life of Discomfort for the Sake of Christ
Scripture is filled with examples of God calling His people to costly faithfulness. Jesus himself said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). The apostles embraced suffering as part of their devotion to Christ. Paul exhorted Timothy to “share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus” (2 Tim. 2:3). Hebrews 11 describes the saints of old who were willing to endure hardship for the sake of a greater reward.
This is the kind of faith we should be forming in our children. One that sees discomfort as a normal part of Christian discipleship. Yet, our modern instinct is to keep them insulated from anything that might cause distress. In doing so, we may be unintentionally discipling them to expect an easy Christianity that doesn’t exist.
How Comfort-Seeking Discipleship Weakens Faith
When we prioritise comfort, we raise children who:
- Expect Christianity to be easy and faith to always feel good.
- Struggle to stand firm when challenged because they have not been trained in endurance.
- Avoid risk in their obedience, choosing safety over sacrificial service.
- Are tempted to walk away from faith when hardship inevitably comes.
We cannot expect children who have only known ease to develop a faith that perseveres through suffering. Christianity without cost is not the Christianity of Scripture. It is the Christianity of cultural convenience.
Practical Ways to Disciple Children Away from Comfort Idolatry
So, what can we do? How do we raise children who love Christ more than their own comfort?
- Teach Them the Cost of Discipleship. Don’t just tell them that following Jesus is good. Tell them that following Jesus will be hard. Read them stories of faithful believers who suffered for Christ, and show them in Scripture that true discipleship involves self-denial (Matt. 16:24–26).
- Allow Them to Struggle. It is loving to let children experience controlled challenges. Teach them to persevere through difficult situations rather than always rescuing them. Encourage them to engage in hard conversations, serve in uncomfortable places, and take risks in obedience.
- Model a Life of Sacrifice. If our children see us prioritising comfort, they will follow suit. Show them a life that chooses faithfulness over ease, whether in hospitality, giving, ministry, or mission.
- Expose Them to Christian Suffering. If all they see are comfortable, Western expressions of Christianity, they will not develop a robust faith. Introduce them to the persecuted church, missionaries in hard places, and faithful saints who have counted the cost of following Christ.
- Redefine Success. The world says that success is ease, financial security, and a pain-free life. But biblical success is faithfulness, fruitfulness, and perseverance in Christ. Disciple your children to measure life by eternal values, not temporal ones.
Raising Children Who Are Ready to Suffer for Christ
If our goal is to raise children who will stand firm in Christ for a lifetime, we must resist the pull of comfort-driven parenting. Instead, we need to train them for a faith that can endure hardship, a faith that treasures Christ above ease, and a faith that is willing to suffer for the sake of the gospel.
We cannot disciple our children in comfort and expect them to follow Christ in sacrifice. The two are at odds. Let us instead disciple them for the real Christian life. One that sees suffering as part of the story, joy as deeper than ease, and faithfulness as the ultimate prize.
