Serving as a children’s or youth minister in the local church is a profound privilege—shaping young lives with the gospel, discipling the next generation, and partnering with families to raise children who know and love Christ. It is work with eternal significance, filled with joy and purpose. But it is also demanding, often unseen, and at times, isolating.
If your church has the blessing of a children’s or youth minister, one of the greatest ways you can serve them is by caring for them well. Not just appreciating their ministry from a distance, but actively supporting, encouraging, and strengthening them so they can persevere with joy and faithfulness for the long haul.
The Reality of the Role
A children’s or youth minister does far more than ‘work with kids.’ Their ministry is woven into every layer of church life—they disciple young people, train and equip volunteer leaders, support and counsel parents, and collaborate closely with church leadership. They are not just programme organisers but shepherds, Bible teachers, disciplers, and encouragers. Their role carries both the weight of nurturing young hearts in the faith and the responsibility of equipping others to do the same.
Yet, the rhythms of their work are demanding. The hours are long and often unsociable—weekend events, midweek clubs, evening youth groups, Sunday responsibilities, residential camps, one-to-one discipleship, and responding to pastoral issues. This relentless schedule can make it difficult to maintain friendships, develop personal interests, or spend consistent time with family in the way others might.
Many also relocate for their roles, leaving behind home churches, friendships, and established support networks. They step into a new church family, prepared to pour themselves out for the spiritual well-being of others. But who ensures they are being spiritually nourished and supported in return?
One of the greatest pressures they face is the demand for constant spiritual output. Week after week, they prepare Bible studies, give talks, answer difficult questions, and walk alongside young people through both the joys and struggles of life. Without intentional care, they risk becoming spiritually depleted—feeding others while rarely having time or space to be fed themselves.
And then there’s the reality of feedback. Encouragement is often scarce, while criticism is rarely absent. It is often easier to voice frustrations than to acknowledge the quiet fruit of faithful service. Over time, the weight of unmet expectations, problem-solving, and a lack of affirmation can be discouraging, leaving ministers feeling isolated, exhausted, and at times, uncertain about their future in ministry.
Given these realities, how can churches actively care for those investing so much in discipling the next generation?
How to Care Well for Your Children’s and Youth Minister
As a Church Family
Caring well for your children’s and youth minister is not just the responsibility of the leadership—it’s something the whole church family can take part in. Here are some ways you can encourage and support them:
- Pray for them. One of the most valuable gifts you can give is committed, intentional prayer. Pray for their ministry, their personal walk with the Lord, their family, and their well-being.
- Take an interest in their lives. Ask about their life beyond ministry—do they have hobbies? Interests? What brings them joy? Show genuine care for them as a person, not just as a minister.
- Let them simply be part of the church family. Children’s and youth ministers often feel like they are always ‘on duty.’ Give them appropriate space to be a congregation member—to worship, learn, and receive without expectation.
- Love their family well. If they are married or have children, remember that their family also carries the weight of ministry. Be intentional in showing kindness and support.
- Be quick to encourage, slow to criticise. Most ministers hear far more complaints than encouragement. Make it a habit to thank them, celebrate the fruit of their work, and express appreciation.
- Be part of their support system. Don’t assume someone else is checking in—be that person.
- Love them as a brother or sister in Christ. Before they are ministers, they are fellow members of God’s family. Care for them as you would any other church member.
As Church Leaders
If you’re a pastor, vicar, or elder, your role in supporting your children’s or youth minister is crucial. Here’s how you can ensure they thrive in ministry:
- Meet with them regularly. They are not running a side ministry; they are a core part of church life. Keep them informed about wider church matters and involve them in decisions that affect their area of ministry responsibility.
- Pray for them—and with them. Your prayers show that their work is valued and that they are not carrying the burdens of ministry alone.
- Give them a seat at the table. Ensure they have opportunities to represent children’s and youth ministry before the parochial church council, elders, or wider leadership team. Their insights are invaluable.
- Pay them fairly. Too often, children’s and youth ministers are underpaid for the responsibility they carry. A fair wage not only meets financial needs but also communicates that their work is valued and sustainable. Consider whether their salary allows them to live without financial stress, afford appropriate housing, and plan for the future. If your church cannot pay them fairly, be transparent rather than assuming they should ‘just make do.’
- Provide clear line management and support structures. Many churches are well-intentioned in pastoral care but lack formal structures for healthy oversight. Ensure there is a designated line manager, and that your children’s or youth minister knows who to turn to for guidance, support, and accountability.
- Have a plan for when challenges arise. Ministry relationships don’t always run smoothly, and miscommunication or tension can occur. Make sure there is a clear, fair process in place if the relationship between the minister and their line manager or leadership team breaks down. A well-structured approach to resolving difficulties ensures that ministers are treated with wisdom and grace, preventing unnecessary hurt or frustration.
- Communicate expectations clearly. Unclear or shifting expectations can leave ministers feeling uncertain or undervalued. Provide a written job description, regular check-ins, and structured feedback to help them flourish in their role.
- Create a culture of proactive feedback and encouragement. Too often, ministers only receive formal feedback when something goes wrong. Make it a priority to offer regular encouragement, acknowledge the fruit of their work, and check in on their personal and spiritual well-being.
- Have their back. Trust them, support them, and advocate for them. If concerns arise, address them with wisdom, grace, and pastoral care rather than suspicion or frustration.
- Ensure they have adequate time off. Ministry can be all-consuming. Encourage healthy boundaries, ensuring they take rest days, maintain friendships, and invest in personal interests.
- Invest in their development. A well-equipped minister is a great blessing to the church. Provide opportunities for further theological training, conferences, and professional development.
- Offer longer periods of respite. Ministry is a marathon, not a sprint. Where possible, provide time for an annual reading week, a spiritual retreat, or even a sabbatical when appropriate.
A Special Word About Caring for Single Children’s and Youth Ministers
For those serving in children’s and youth ministry who are single, the challenges of ministry can be even more pronounced. Without the built-in support of a spouse or family at home, they often carry the weight of ministry alone, with fewer natural opportunities for encouragement and pastoral care. After long evenings serving others, they may return home to an empty house with no one to debrief with or share in their joys and struggles. The church family has a wonderful opportunity to step into this gap—not in a patronising way, but in a way that provides meaningful friendship, inclusion, and support
- Be intentional about friendship and hospitality. Invite them into your home—not just as a minister and not as a babysitter, but as a friend. Holidays, birthdays, and even simple midweek meals can be particularly isolating.
- Recognise their need for time outside ministry. Running a home alone is financially and practically demanding. Ensure they have adequate time off to manage life responsibilities and enjoy a true Sabbath rest—this may mean offering a day and a half off rather than just one.
- Be mindful of their evenings. Many single ministers work multiple evenings a week. But evenings are also the prime time for social connection. Support them in maintaining a balance that allows them to invest in relationships outside the church.
- Allow flexibility in annual leave. Single ministers often need to take holidays in term time to connect with friends or family. Don’t make them feel guilty—let them go!
- Pastor them well in their singleness. Working with children and families can heighten longings for marriage and family. Walk alongside them with pastoral care, helping them guard against idolatry while also acknowledging their desires with kindness.
- Affirm their place in the church family. Singleness is not a waiting room for marriage. Make sure they know they are fully valued and deeply loved as they are.
Caring well for children’s and youth ministers—whether married or single—ensures that they can serve with joy, endurance, and faithfulness for the long haul. A supported minister is a thriving minister, and a thriving minister is a gift to the church and the next generation.
