In recent years, the call for smartphone-free childhoods has gained momentum, and for good reason. Numerous studies suggest that smartphones—and screen time more broadly—can negatively impact children and teenagers, especially in the areas of mental health, social development, and cognitive functioning. However, it’s important to acknowledge that correlation doesn’t always imply causation. Not every child who uses a smartphone will be at risk, and some families have successfully integrated technology in ways that foster creativity, learning, and connection.
But this blog isn’t about debating whether phones should be restricted or embraced. Instead, we’re focusing on how to help the tweens and teens who already have smartphones—millions of Christian young people who have full ownership and autonomous use of these devices.
We should recognise that smartphones are a dominant part of today’s culture, and our role in discipleship is to equip young people to engage with them thoughtfully. As we disciple them, it’s crucial to move beyond just managing behaviour; we must guide them to reflect on how their smartphones are shaping not just their habits but also their hearts and desires. Technology doesn’t simply affect what they do—it influences who they are becoming and what they love.This involves helping them reflect biblically on how their phones influence their priorities, values, and spiritual lives.
Technology can either serve us or control us, depending on how we use it. As spiritual mentors, our role is to help young people approach their devices with discernment—seeing them not just as sources of entertainment or convenience but as tools that can either glorify God or pull their hearts away from Him. By paying attention to the heart, we can encourage them to cultivate digital habits that honour God, align with their identity in Christ, and strengthen their walk with Him.
1. Teach Them to Ask the Right Questions
Self-examination is a key biblical principle for guarding our hearts (Proverbs 4:23). This is not just about behaviour modification; it’s about engaging the heart and understanding what motivates our actions. Asking questions that go deeper than surface-level behaviour helps young people uncover what’s going on in their hearts. Encouraging them to reflect deeply on their smartphone use can reveal how their devices are shaping their desires, affections, and ultimately their relationship with God. These questions can be powerful tools for sanctification:
- What motivates my use of my phone?
To help teens reflect on their phone usage, encourage them to ask themselves: “Why am I reaching for my phone right now? Is it because I’m feeling bored, anxious, or left out? Or am I using it to connect meaningfully with others or to learn something valuable?” - Am I spending time on my phone in ways that draw me closer to or further from God?
This question helps young people discern not only their actions but their spiritual direction. Are their digital habits cultivating a heart that loves God and prioritises spiritual growth, or are they creating distraction and distance? - How do I feel after spending time on my device?
Encourage teens to ask themselves: “How do I feel after spending time on my device?” If they notice feelings of anxiety, discontentment, or isolation, it can help them recognise how their devices may be influencing their hearts. This awareness can reveal whether their phone use is leading to dissatisfaction and emptiness, instead of the fullness found in Christ. - Does my phone use steal time from more important things?
Smartphones can easily steal time that could be spent deepening relationships, focusing on responsibilities, or spending time with God. It’s important to ask if these devices are robbing them of the opportunity to invest their hearts in what truly matters. - Do I ever feel controlled by my phone?
If they feel anxious when they can’t put their phone down, this could indicate deeper heart issues such as dependency or idolatry.
2. Set Boundaries and Build Accountability
Boundaries, when understood biblically, are not just about external rules—they’re about protecting our hearts from wandering into sin and self-destruction. Healthy boundaries create space for the heart to flourish and remain devoted to God. Establishing limits isn’t about restriction for restriction’s sake, but about freeing young people to love God more deeply and engage in life-giving relationships.
Scripture offers a vision for how boundaries can help us live in a way that honours God (Galatians 5:13-14). Here are some practical boundaries to consider that engage both behaviour and the heart:
- No phones during meals or family time: Technology-free zones during meals or family gatherings create space for meaningful conversations, free from distractions.
- Phone-free zones during personal devotions or family worship: Encourage teens to be fully present with God, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually, freeing their hearts to seek Him undivided.
- Set specific hours for phone-free activities: Whether it’s during homework, hobbies, or times of rest, phone-free hours can help break the cycle of constant use.
- No phones in bedrooms at night: Keeping phones out of bedrooms during the night encourages healthy sleep patterns and reduces the temptation to scroll mindlessly, promoting rest and peace.
Accountability is vital in building these boundaries. Creating an open, grace-filled environment where teens can share their struggles helps them not just change habits but transform their hearts.
3. Encourage Digital Detoxes
We live in a hyper-connected world, and while stepping away from screens may seem unnatural, it’s an opportunity for the heart to be recalibrated. Encouraging digital detoxes isn’t just about disconnecting from devices; it’s about reconnecting the heart with God and others. A day or weekend without their phones offers teens the space to recalibrate their desires, refocus their affections on Christ, and re-engage with the relationships and activities that matter most.
Philippians 4:8 calls us to dwell on what is “true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable.” A detox provides the opportunity for young people to fill their minds with these things, deepening their prayer life, enjoying creation, and building real-world relationships.
4. Teach Them to Discern Content
The internet is a vast landscape filled with content that can either nourish the heart or lead it astray. As parents and leaders, guiding young people to discern what they consume helps them guard their hearts (Proverbs 4:23). Encourage them to ask:
- Is this content honouring to God?
Even content that seems harmless can subtly shape the heart’s desires, shifting their affections from God’s truth to worldly values. - Does this content align with biblical truth?
Some content promotes ideas that, while not overtly harmful, can undermine the Gospel in the hearts of young people. Help them see the heart impact of consuming false narratives. - How does this content affect my view of myself, others, and the world?
Social media often distorts reality and can create envy or insecurity in the heart. Teach young people to view themselves as beloved children of God, allowing their hearts to be shaped by their identity in Christ.
5. Model Healthy Habits
One of the most powerful ways to shape the hearts of young people is to model healthy smartphone habits. As parents and church leaders, our lives should reflect Christ in every area—including how we engage with technology. If we allow our hearts to be ruled by screens, our children will likely follow suit.
So, let them see you:
- Prioritising time in God’s Word over endless scrolling.
- Engaging in meaningful conversations over digital distractions.
- Practicing Sabbath rest by putting away your phone and focusing on God.
When we model these behaviours, we demonstrate that life, rooted in the love of Christ, satisfies the heart more fully than any screen ever could.
A Call to the Heart
By helping young people reflect on their smartphone use, set clear boundaries, and model healthy habits, we’re not just teaching them to manage their behaviour—we’re guiding their hearts toward a deeper love for Christ. In doing so, we’re equipping them to live faithfully in a digital world, for the glory of God.
